This post is designed to make you feel better! To remind you that we all have those moments, the ‘Do I laugh here or do I cry moments?’. These are the things that have, (and still do sometimes!), really push my buttons!
The little brats love to keep me on my toes by placing objects in areas they absolutely do not belong. I blogged a bit about this before here but in case you missed it….many a time amid the chaos that is breakfast time I will sleepily pour some milk into my already lukewarm tea and out will casually slide a …. paintbrush. Maybe even sometimes, just to mix things up a bit, a clothes peg.
I’ll go to plug the hoover in but find I can’t because there is a piece of Lego carefully placed in the plug socket.
I’ll go for a wee and find, say, a DOUGHNUT floating innocently in the toilet bowl.
I’ll try to put my shoes on and have to shake out a load of pens someone has carefully laid inside.
- Putting things in Inappropriate Places
Generally wrecking the house and my sanity with it.
They regularly take the wooden poles, (spindles apparently so my husband says), out of the staircase and use them as weapons.
They are often really ‘helpful’ by substituting dishwasher tablets for MUD and then turning the dishwasher on.
Writing their names on the walls then denying it was them.
Tipping my herbs and some onion skin into my pestle and mortar and grinding ‘delicious’ concoctions.
Repeatedly stabbing my fruit with sharp objects, be it bananas, apples, butternut squash, tomatoes there will nearly always be a cheeky fork mark or pen shaped hole in the skin.
One of the boys in particular had a healthy obsession with knives. I don’t obviously let them play with knives but trust me the little monkeys will get their hands on them if my back is turned. One day I was innocently cooking with my back turned and my then 3 year old gracefully plunged a knife into my bum cheek. Luckily I was wearing jeans and there were no injuries but can you imagine the questions in A and E if it had?
I’m constantly shot at with Nerf guns but recently my son skilfully stepped it up a notch by firing at me WITH ONE HE HAD JUST FISHED OUT OF THE… YES, the good old toilet again.
- Attacking me in a friendly but equally dangerous and irritating way.
Embarrassing me in public
So we have a social worker coming over, (for the reasons why read this post) and my mischievous 5 year old is playing up. I tell him off gently and he runs and hides shouting dramatically, ‘Don’t hit me, don’t hit me!’ I just decided to not acknowledge it and I don’t know whether the social worker heard. I flipping hope not. (By the way, I don’t beat my children!!)
Having a two year old say, ‘Shut up, you cow’ everywhere, especially at the supermarket and whilst out at National Trust venues. (This isn’t quite as bad as it sounds, for the full story read this post.)
Getting me told off by National Trust staff for pulling down their pants and weeing in the middle of a medieval castle courtyard. (This was an all time low. I’m still traumatised. Let’s move on.)
You may be reading this and thinking to yourself, ‘This mum needs to instil some discipline on her kids, they sound out of control!’. To which I would politely refer you to the title of this blog.
Do your kids do any of these things? What do they do which really tests your patience? Let me know in the comments below and I’d love it if you follow my blog!