7 Things Guaranteed to Happen When I Take 6 Kids Shopping

  • When I take all the six kids supermarket shopping. Most of these events are usually incredibly annoying, embarrassing, and also pretty stressful.
  • Here we go:
    • As soon as we get out of the car and I squeeze the toddler and a baby into the trolley, someone, will pipe up with, ‘I need a poo/wee’. This then begs the question of how to get all the kids into the public toilets, with the trolley which often has a few bits of food in it already. It is the most annoying thing ever, but it will happen, Without fail.
    • I will be asked repeatedly, over and over again for me to buy random bits of junk that I know once we get home the kids will play with once and then leave on the floor for me to tread on with my bare feet. Either that or they will beg for the most high sugar, most high fat snacks ever known to man. At the beginning of the shop my voice will be calm, almost kind even, as I say no and explain that we have plenty of other food at home. Later, I will either just simply shout, ‘No!’ or I will decide to ignore them whatever one will protect my sanity the most. By the end of the shop, I will just simply let them put whatever they flipping want in the trolley.
    • Items will get pulled off the shelves. However many times you say to children, ‘Don’t touch’, they will inevitably touch. For some reason they particularly love to pull makeup off the shelves.But really they’re not that fussy, anything will do as long as they can reach it. And then it leaves me, now sweating and embarrassed to bend down and pick up the shelf of condom boxes that has been spilled across the whole shopping aisle.
    • One of the kids will have the most massive, most embarrassing, loudest tantrum. You know when they shriek at the top of their voice, there’s absolutely nothing you can do because they are for something totally unreasonable? That will happen to me almost every time I go shopping.
    • I will just be getting to the end of the shop and I’m thinking, ‘This isn’t going too badly I’ve got about five minutes to go before the baby kicks off’, and I will be telling myself in my most motivational inner voice, ‘I can do this, I can do this’, and I will bump into somebody I know who is smugly kid free, wanting to stop to chat. I’ll get into a conversation, meanwhile the five year old sprints off and is absolutely nowhere to be seen, te year old is standing up in the trolley clutching his dinkle, the seven-year-old is doing some fencing with an imaginary sword around my ankles and the two older girls are having a full on girl fight about whose turn it is to tidy the room. The conversation ends as the person I know says sympathetically ‘Well, I better let you go, I CAN SEE YOU’VE GOT YOUR HANDS FULL’. Off she strolls, leaving me to chase hyperactive kids, pick up a packet of spaghetti that has just been knocked to the floor and soothe the crying baby as I walk towards the till to pay.
    • The two-year-old will refer to me as, ‘You cow’, in a very loud voice. I mentioned in my previous post how the boys have taken to calling people cows, not understanding how offensive the word really is. But it doesn’t look good in the middle of a supermarket when your two-year-old says at the top of his voice, ‘Mum, you cow’. Most the time I just pretend I didn’t hear it.
    • At the till will always realise, without fail, that I’ve forgotten something. Absolutely guaranteed I will have forgotten something that I really need. Usually I can ask one of the older girls to run and get it. The cashier will always look at me sympathetically and say without fail either, ‘Are they all yours?’, followed by, ‘YOU’VE GOT YOUR HANDS FULL’.
  • For all those reasons, I have decided the person who invented online grocery shopping probably deserves the Nobel Peace Prize and very rarely venture out with all six of them. Can you blame me?
  • I hope you enjoyed as much as I don’t enjoy shopping with the kids. How do you cope shopping with your babies? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below and don’t forget to like, share and follow my blog.
  • MC x
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